May is coming to a close, which means that Summer is right around the corner.

…And hopefully, so is the end of my death-inducing allergies.

Anyway, a good amount of momentous occasions happen in Spring. Naturally, this means that every recent grad, recent hire, or recent spouse will be flocking to Las Vegas to spend way more money than they actually have.

In layman’s terms: It’s going to be f*cking crazy in Vegas over the next few months.

Sin City attracts people of all shapes, sizes, and nationalities. However, there are certain archetypes that show up in every vacation group. 

All of them aren’t always present, nor are they always the same person, but you can expect your group to contain a handful in some shape or form. 

Without further ado, here are the 14 People on Your Vegas Trip. 

 

1. The Reluctant Driver

When it comes to Vegas, owning a newer car is a huge disadvantage.

This person lost the bidding war of whose car had the least amount of miles, and will have to offer their perfectly capable vehicle as sacrifice.

They’ll do whatever they can to dodge the responsibility at first, but will eventually give up in the interest of the team.

Still, there’s no way they’re using their car next time (they will).

 

 

2. The Unprepared One

This person always arrives at the hotel room only to immediately realize that they forgot something super important at home.

Whether it’s a belt, a dress, shoes, or a makeup bag, the rest of the group will be burdened with lending this person things so they don’t look foolish out in public.

Naturally, this person also put off packing until the last possible second. You group’s altruism will increase 1 level.

 

 

3. The Blackout Captain

This person gets way too excited with the whole “Sin City” vibe. They’re already 6 drinks in by the time they reach the hotel.

They’ll keep going at this self-destructive rate until you’re stuck dragging them back to the room at 9:47pm.

But hey, “it happens”. Surely they’ll learn their lesson after the first night, right?

Nope.

 

 

4. The Tourist

This spiritual AARP member has watched one too-many History Channel specials on Las Vegas.

As a result, their idea of a good time in Vegas includes the Blue Man Group, Cirque Du Soleil, Penn & Teller, and watching the Bellagio Fountains five consecutive times.

They also insist that you stay in the Flamingo–the oldest hotel on The Strip.

 

 

5. The One Fighting With Their Significant Other

If you see someone on the trip typing furiously while breathing heavily, odds are that they’re currently involved in a texting argument with their S/O.

Be prepared to spend the rest of the weekend trying to cheer them up as they slump around and constantly check their phones for a reply.

They’ll eventually settle things with their other half–right as you’re checking out of the hotel.

 

 

 

6. The Rookie

This recent 21 year-old is going to have the best weekend of their life, and you’re going to hate them because of it.

You’re going to be jealous of how new Vegas is to them and how excited they are, so you’re probably going to mock them for their enthusiasm to make yourself feel better.

Still, they’ll add a lot of needed energy to a group that’s (likely) starting to get over Sin City.

Your team’s jadedness will decrease by 1 level.

 

 

7. The Cheapskate

This person would rather live off Lunchables than pay for a buffet. This person would rather walk from the Venetian to Mandalay Bay than pay for a cab. This person would rather “turn up in the room” than pay a $20 cover.

This person knew about the trip 4 months in advance, and decided not to save up…for some reason.

The worst part is that this person’s frugality has been kept under wraps until you’re already there and can’t uninvite them.

Your group’s funds will increase by 2 levels, but your fun will decrease by 4.

 

8. The Buffet Connoisseur

The all-you-can-eat selections in Las Vegas are a fun and social activity to try out one day of the weekend. And the next day. And…the next day?

Yeah, this person won’t be satisfied with just one Buffett. Their primary goal of the trip is to spend $50+ a pop at Bacchanal, Wicked Spoon, the Bellagio Buffet, and more.

They’ll also drag the rest of the group along, who will immediately realize that every buffet in Vegas serves basically the same food.

Your party’s instances of indigestion will raise 3 levels; your funds will fall by 2.

 

 

9. The One Who Can’t Walk In Heels

Typically a female (although not always), this person will wear the least walker-friendly heels in their possession.

This wouldn’t be a problem if they could somehow teleport wherever they needed to go.

Unfortunately, that kind of technology hasn’t been invented yet, so they’ll end up turning into a Wacky Waving Inflatable Leg-flailing Tubeman while struggling to walk anywhere.

The mobility of your team will go down about 5 levels.

 

 

10. The Stressed Planner

This person took on the task of orchestrating the entire trip, from the hotel to the clubs. Sounds like a fun role to have, right?

Wrong.

Instead of enjoying their meticulously laid out plans, this person will spend the entire weekend in agony as they stress over getting the group everywhere on time.

They’ll probably end up resenting the rest of the crew because they just get to enjoy the trip, but that won’t stop them from planning the next trip and repeating the process.

 

 

11. The Lagger

Take whatever time you need everyone to be ready by, and subtract 2 hours.

That’s the only way to deal with this person, whose goal it apparently is to make the group late to EVERYTHING.

Sure, the Guest List closes in half an hour, but don’t worry–this person only needs to change…and shower….and wake up.

Needless to say, the Stressed Planner will end up hating this person. Your squad’s punctuality will decrease by 4 levels.

 

12. The One Who Tries Too Hard

This person will do everything possible to make this the best weekend ever.

The only thing is that they’ll do all the wrong things. They’ll probably spend half their paycheck on tacky new clothes, try and persuade the group to get a table at every club you attend, and obnoxiously shout “Vegas!!!” whenever a remote opportunity presents itself.

Their heart is in the right place, but their antics are embarrassing.

Your group’s “coolness” will drop 2 levels.

 

13. The Lucky Casual Gambler

This person just wants to have a good time and play slots for the sake of being in Vegas. They’ll bet around $2.50 and walk away with $45 in winnings.

Then they’ll stop gambling, because they just wanted to do it for the experience.

They’ll leave the trip with a smile on their face.

 

 

14. The Unlucky Serious Gambler

This person has spent the last 2 months studying how to win at Blackjack and Roulette. They have probability sheets memorized and have been playing online games to hone their skills.

They’ve come into the weekend with $200 in gambling money. They’re going to end up losing around $450.

They’ll spend the rest of the weekend in drunken anger.

 

Thanks for reading!

Are there any Vegas stereotypes I might have missed? Let us know in the comments!