I wrote these stories recently, because I caught the desire to write some stories recently.
They’re about aspects of life that I find humorous, ironic, or some other adjective that people use all the time.
They’re also very obviously inspired by things I’ve both experienced and/or observed.
I call them “Micro Stories” because they’re too short to be Short Stories, but are too long-winded and fictional to be an Instagram caption , or something of similar nature.
If you get about halfway through any of them and aren’t feeling it, feel free to skip it over. Given the length, it’s pretty unlikely that your opinion will change from that point anyway.
Anywho, here we go:
Martha was a lass with a checkered past.
She had a lot to offer, but had been hurt many times before by prior lovers.
To defend herself from further pain, she put up barriers to protect herself.
They were many who tried to break through these walls, noticing how great of a person Martha was deep inside.
However, while many made progress, most had failed to reach her.
Martha would always tell herself, “I only put up walls to see who is willing to knock them down!”
One man was determined to do just that.
He tried and tried and tried, but every time he got close, Martha would put up more walls.
Until one day, after weeks of valiant effort, the man finally said:
“You know what… you just don’t seem very interested. I think I’d better move on”
And so he left, leaving Martha to continue waiting for someone to fight through her barriers.
That person never came.
Martha died alone.
“No Pain, No Gainz”
Jerry lacked self esteem.
He wanted to feel better about himself, so he purchased a gym membership.
Jerry spent the next 6 months tirelessly working out, eating healthy, and reading online forums about exercising.
He wanted the perfect body, so he could finally have a sense of confidence.
He eventually reached his goal of having visible abs, sculpted shoulders, and bulging biceps.
After finally getting the body he always wanted, Jerry decided to go to a bar and try out the self-esteem he finally gained.
…or so he thought…
Jerry was confused why women weren’t immediately flocking to him.
He felt embarrassed because he didn’t have the best social skills, and his new body hadn’t done much to help that.
And so, to make himself feel better, he began to boast loudly about how fit he was.
One of the people who heard this was Mike, who was small and skinny.
All Mike saw was Jerry speaking really loudly, and figured that he must have been a confident guy. Mike felt that he could only get that kind of confidence if he had a better body.
Deflated, Mike went home alone.
Mike lacked self-esteem.
He wanted to feel better about himself….
Frederick had recently ended an 8-year relationship with Kimberly.
They had met in college, and spent most of their twenties with one another.
He was heartbroken about it, and didn’t know how to cope.
Noticing Frederick’s sadness, his best friend, Tom, invited Frederick to a dinner party he and his wife were hosting.
Tom knew that one of his single coworkers, Laurie, was going. He thought the two would like one another.
During the party, at Tom’s urging, Frederick approached Laurie and started talking to her.
However, while she found him handsome, Laurie noticed something a bit odd about Frederick.
Whenever she would ask him questions about himself, he never seemed to have an answer.
“What do you do for fun?”
I…don’t really know. I used to just do things with my ex all the time
“What are some of your current goals?”
Hm, interesting question. I actually haven’t thought about that too much in a good while
“Is there anywhere that you’ve ever wanted to travel to alone?”
I’m…not sure. I can’t seem to remember.
As the conversation continued, Laurie’s excitement waned.
Eventually, Frederick caught on, and ended with a “Well, I’ll to you later…maybe?”
Embarrassed at his lack of things to say, Frederick decided to leave.
He was heading towards the front door when Tom called his name.
“Where are you going, Fred?”
Tom turned back and said, “I think I need to go remember who I really am, since I seem to have forgotten”, before quickly opening the door and stumbling out.
Nobody ever saw him again.
“Blessings on Blessings”
Kelsey got an A on her biology exam.
Excited to share her accomplishment, she decided to post about it online.
“God is good!” she wrote.
“So blessed to have received an ‘A’ on my test!”
Elsewhere, likely in the sky, God was perusing its online feed on a mobile phone.
It came across Kelsey’s post, let out an annoyed sigh, and kept scrolling.
“A Clockwork Career”
A University once held a campus-wide Career Day.
Seniors were encouraged to go and see which postgrad paths interested them.
A huge banner draped outside the auditorium read: “The Possibilities Are Endless!”
One student approached a booth with a big sign that read “Finance” over it.
The woman at the booth smiled at him and said “Come! Sign up!”
The student wrote his name down and began talking to everyone at the booth.
After 45 minutes, the student decided that Finance wasn’t something he wanted to do for the rest of his life.
He took the pamphlet and walked away.
The student then found another booth with a “Marketing” sign.
“Perfect!” he said to himself. “I’ve always wanted to try Marketing. What a great opportunity!”
He approached the table, and said, “Hello! I’d like to put my name down for this booth”
The man at the booth smiled back and said, “Unfortunately, I can’t do that for you. You need at least 45 minutes of experience to join us”.
The Student checked his watch and realized that there were only 20 minutes left in the event.
“But, the event ends in 20 minutes!” he replied, as his smile evaporated. “How can I get 45 minutes of experience here if I only have 20 left?”
The man maintained his grin and shrugged.
“What if I have 45 minutes of experience from Finance?” the student asked.
“Sorry, not applicable”, the man replied.
“Wait…but…how can I try other careers if I only have experience in one?” the student asked.
The man shrugged again. “I dunno”
Defeated, the student made his way to the auditorium door. He passed the Finance desk along the way.
“Oh hey!” the woman called out. “There you are! We need to give you your tattoo before you go!”
“I don’t understand”, the student sighed. “I thought the opportunities were endless here”
“Yeah, well, they are”, the woman replied, raising the ink needle to his forehead.
“Kyle of the Hidden Peen”
Kyle was small.
Feeling disadvantaged, he purchased a truck.
It did little to help.
“I need it bigger!” Kyle told himself.
So he bought a lift kit for his truck, and some off road tires.
Still, he didn’t think it was big enough.
Fueled by frustration, Kyle installed an exhaust on his truck to make it louder.
Now, not only would he be seen by everyone, but heard as well.
And yet, at the end of the day, Kyle still did not feel big enough.
The countless dollars and hours spent could not hide the truth of Kyle’s existence:
He was a 6-foot-tall man, with a 4-inch penis.
“Self-Reflection So Fragile”
Darren was talking to his friend Melissa one day.
He was venting about a girl, who recently told Darren that she did not want a second date.
“I don’t get it”, Darren sighed. “Why wouldn’t she want to go out with me again? I thought things went well”
“Have you ever considered that she just didn’t like you?” Melissa answered.
“…She was probably intimidated by me”, Darren said, completely ignoring Melissa. “I was talking about some pretty complex topics, so I can see why she felt overwhelmed”
“Or…maybe she just didn’t like you”, Melissa responded.
“Maybe it was because she was insecure?” Darren pondered, stroking his chin. “I think sometimes girls get nervous when talking to an attractive person”.
“I think she probably just didn’t like you”
“Do you think my job scared her off? Like, maybe I should have made it clear that I didn’t care if she was in HR.”
“No…I think she just didn’t like you”
“It could be because she went to an Ivy League school, and thinks that my degree isn’t good enough for her. How pretentious of her, right? She could have at least factored in my personality before being so critical”
“I think she did…and still didn’t like you”. Melissa’s tone was bone dry at this point.
“I did tell her a lot about my background and inner thoughts. Maybe I should play it safer next time. I think that me being so vulnerable made her feel vulnerable, and she can’t handle her emotions well so she’d rather avoid another deep conversation”
“Darren…”, Melissa started. “You have to consider the fact that she got a sense of who you are, where you came from, and where you want to go. I think that she took the time to think it over and didn’t see much compatibility. You need to realize that someone can thoroughly understand who you are, and still not like you romantically. And that’s okay, man. Not everyone is going to like you”
Darren sat quietly for 6 seconds before speaking again:
“Oh, come on”, he said.
“That’s just stupid”.
A few friends who were in their early 20s were chatting over breakfast at a restaurant.
Kate had just returned from a trip to Italy, and was describing her experience to the others. “I feel like every time I travel, my life is fulfilled that much more”, she said, with her gaze towards the ceiling. “I can’t imagine how empty my life would be without travel”
The rest of the table laughed nervously.
Joy had only ever been to Canada as a child.
Mike had been to a few states, but had never left the country.
Miranda was born in Busan, South Korea, but moved to the US at age 4 and hadn’t been to Korea since.
None of them had been able to travel as frequently as Kate, especially since they were all in their early twenties and still paying off school loans.
After a brief, awkward silence, Joy spoke:
“How do you…afford to travel so much?”
“Oh, it’s easy”, said Kate. “Just save up for a few months and you can find some cheap flights to Europe for only around 600 dollars”
“That’s cheap?” Mike asked, his fork still halfway in his mouth.
“I mean, yeah”, Kate replied.
“What about work?” Miranda asked. “How are you able to…like…take so many days off?”
Miranda worked for a non-profit, which meant long hours and a modest salary.
“I would never work at a job that didn’t have flexible vacation”, Kate replied. “Sometimes I end up extending my trips a few days because I’m experiencing so much. The days of being a corporate slave are long gone, anyway”.
“…I work in accounting”, Mike said in a dry tone.
Kate ignored Mike’s comment completely. “You just have to travel. Life is like a book, and those who don’t travel only read-”
“Yeah we’ve heard you say that before”, Miranda said, closing to eyelids to hide her annoyed expression.
Carlos returned to the table from the restroom. Like Kate, he was also an avid traveler.
“What did I miss?”
“Oh”, Kate started. “I was just telling them about my latest wanderlust journey”.
“Oh really?” Carlos said. “I just got back from Bali, and am going to Spain next month. Where did you just get back from?”
“Italy”, Kate said. “And next month, I’m going to Russia”
“Oh, I was there two weeks ago”, said Carlos. “I feel like you don’t really travel unless you cross multiple continents in one trip”
“I’m also going to Cuba in January”, Kate said.
“I’m going to Jamaica that same month” Carlos replied.
“Mexico in March”
“Taipei in April”
“Bangkok in July”
“India in May”
The two were so immersed in their one-upmanship that they were practically touching noses when the waiter arrived.
“Your check”, he said, before setting down a receipt and walking away.
The five put their cards down to split the bill.
“Hey, wait a minute”, Mike started. “Carlos, Kate—your names aren’t on your cards. Whose cards are these?
That’s all for today. I hope you got some enjoyment out of this.
Thanks for reading.