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Pokemonth: Ranking the Eeveelutions, From Worst to Best

Today, we have a post of elemental variety.

One of the most popular Pokemon in the world is Eevee.

Its fame isn’t because Eeevee itself is necessarily desirable.

In fact, most people are in a frantic rush to evolve Eevee as soon as they get one.

This is because Eevee is the only known Pokemon to have 8—count it—8 potential final forms.

With types spanning Fire, Water, Ice, Electric, Grass, Dark, Psychic, and Fairy, each with their own unique looks and abilities, debate is bound to surface over which one is best.

Thanks to a suggestion from my lifelong friend (and soon to be father—hooray!), Elvin Marroquin, I went ahead and compiled a list that will hopefully settle the score.

This is a ranking of all Eeveelutions, from worst to best.

Let’s do it:

 

 

8. Flareon

Flareon finds itself at the bottom of the list because it’s ultimately just wasted potential.

After all, how could you go wrong with a Fire type Eeveelution?

Easy: Make Attack its highest stat, but only allow it to learn Special Fire attacks.

“Oh, but Flareon can learn Flare Blitz in Gen VI”

Too little, too late, Flareon. You’ve already disappointed us beyond repair. Ever since I wasted a Fire Stone on you back in Pokemon Red.

 

 

7. Glaceon

“Wait—there’s an Ice Eeveelution?”

Apparently, there is

The main reason that many people forget Glaceon is just that: it’s forgettable.

A pure Ice type is already a bad start, since Ice has so many common weaknesses (Fighting, Rock, Steel, Fire).

On top of that, Glaceon’s speed is borderline awful, which makes its already niche typing even more of a liability.

Glaceon’s lackluster execution and uninspired design ultimately resulted in a disappointing addition to the Eevee family.

Stick with Vaporeon.

 

 

6. Leafeon

Gen IV goes back-to-back on the list, with another Eeveelution that failed to live up to expectations.

A Grass type addition was only bound to happen, but the question remains: was it necessary?

In the case of Leafeon, the answer would be “no”.

Or at least, not one as unexciting and bland as this one.

The only thing keeping Leafeon from being outclassed by every other Grass type ever is its access to Leaf Blade.

Whoopdee-freaking-doo.

 

 

5. Sylveon

If it were up to me, Sylveon would be dead last on this list.

It’s not because of its design—it looks worlds better than the underwhelming Glaceon/Lefeon duo.

Nor is it because of its battling ability—Sylveon is arguably the strongest and most useful Eeveelution to date.

My main gripe with Sylveon is that it’s a Fairy type—the very same type that completely obliterated my beloved Dragon Pokemon.

However, I don’t get frustrated or upset when I see a Sylveon in battle.

Quite the contrary: I piss myself, because I know that I’m screwed.

All things considered, I can’t deny its power, and need to give Sylveon the respect it deserves.

Although, I’ll do so reluctantly.

 

 

4. Vaporeon

Vaporeon is a beast.

Not only is it one of the best looking of Eevee’s evolutions, but its broad movepool and high Special Attack make it one of the most useful as well.

Evidence of how awesome Vaporeon came along is that, even though Glaceon is supposed to be Eevee’s Ice evolution, most players still would take a Vaporeon with Ice Beam or Aurora Beam 10 times out of 10.

Like me.

 

 

Intermission: Umbreon vs. Espeon

A testament to just how amazingly great Gen II was to Pokemon is the fact that both GSC evolutions are in the Top 3.

However, that’s usually the only thing that Pokemon fans seem to agree on between the two.

Gen II forced us to make a tougher decision than the 3 stone choices in Gen 1. You either pick the graceful Psychic Pokemon, Espeon, or its sinister Dark type sibling, Umbreon.

A good friend of mine (and much better writer than me), Alec Killoran, broke down the debate in a manner that most of us can easily understand:

I think the Umbreon vs Espeon battle is a man’s battle between his desire to like something badass and masculine, and his actual preference for the sleeker design of Espeon. It’s like trying to decide between a Ford F-150 and a Mazda Miata—but you don’t actually need a pickup truck for anything and you only drive on the road.

So, what’s it going to be today: Miata, or F-150?

 

 

3. Umbreon

Sorry, truck enthusiasts.

However, don’t get too upset—3rd place is nothing to be ashamed of on a list like this.

In the looks department, Umbreon is one of the best looking Pokemon ever–and that’s not including its beautiful shiny palette.

However, Umbreon’s defensive-based stats make for an unfortunate conflict with its imposing demeanor. Quite frankly: it looks like it can dish a lot more damage than it actually can.

That being said, Umbreon is definitely the more tactical of the two in terms of usage. It requires a bit more battle savvy and strategy to make an Umbreon truly shine, which is a rewarding experience in its own.

Today considered one of the most popular Dark types, Umbreon falls just short of its Gen II twin.

 

 

2. Espeon

I’m more of a Miata guy anyway.

Where Umbreon’s design succeeds because of how objectively badass it looks, Espeon’s appeal comes from how perfectly the creators tailored its design to its Psychic typing.

The double-tipped tail, forehead gem, and white pupils perfectly encapsulate a Psychic Eeveelution better than we could have ever imagined.

Its expansive movepool—which includes Grass Knot, Shadow Ball, and the newly added Dazzling Gleam—in conjunction with its high Special Attack turns Espeon into quite the formidable team member.

And get this—it’s also pretty fast, meaning that you have a pretty good chance of 2HKOing most opposing Pokemon. Or, for you braver folk—you can try and set up with Calm Mind.

Whatever way you use it, you’ll rarely ever meet a disappointed Espeon owner.

Pretty much the opposite of Flareon.

 

 

1. Jolteon

The top Electric Pokemon is back for seconds this week, claiming another crown as the #1 Eeveelution.

We loved Jolteon in Gen 1 for its cool design, great speed (Gen 1 was about who was fastest), and the fact that its Pin Missile attack was one of the few prayers available to stopping a Psychic type.

Even today, with Jolteon being most effective as a type matchup specialist, you’ll still find a lot of players with one on their teams.

With Eeveelutions that are now seen as throwbacks (Vaporeon), and others being completely obsolete from the get-go (Glaceon/Leafeon), Jolteon stands out for that fact that it’s been consistently reliable across 6 generations.

You can find as much use in a Jolteon today as you could in 1998, both aesthetically and battle-wise, and there’ something really special about that.

So special, in fact, that I proudly declare Jolteon as the top Eeveelution.

Of course, we all have our favorites for various reasons, and hopefully this list has highlighted why some Eeveelutions are so beloved.

Most importantly, though, I wanted to bring us all together over one simple fact:

Flareon sucks ass.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

 

4 Replies to “Pokemonth: Ranking the Eeveelutions, From Worst to Best”

  1. I dont understand the hatr on Glaceon and Flareon. Flareon is pretty powerful, give it guts for ability give it a toxic orb and thethrn for moves, give it Facade, flare blitz, quick attack and flame charge. You’ll be hitting like a truck.

    Glaceon is a well designed eeveelutions it has a better design than most ice types. And what Ice types you may ask? Well I don’t how about a giant ice face? (Glalie) and it’s pretty good in competitive battling. You just got to know how to use it, I mean seriously give a pokemon a chance before you insult it and bash on it.

    1. Flareon is slow, has low hp, has terrible movepool, and cant use flame orb, so toxic orb kills it faster than you could expect, it also has no recovery, no boosting moves, is weak to earthquake, rock slide and surf, very common moves, and both glaceon and flareon are PU, the worst tier in competitive.

    1. The strongest is espeon or jolteon, umbreon has high defense, but that’s it, its offenses are base 60, its slow and weak to Fairy, Fighting and bug, and its just not vey useful anymore. Espeon has high speed and special attack, magic bounce, recovery and acess to baton pass, while jolteon has even higher speed, an amazing typing and volt switch

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