You know what sucks? Rejection.
You know what REALLY sucks? Romantic rejection.
And by that, I mean when you’ve been seeing someone for a while, and decide to take the risk and ask them to get serious. But then, with your palms sweaty and butthole clenched, they look you in the eye and say something similar to “Nah”.
People refer to this unfortunate event by many different names.
“Getting turned down”
My personal preference is “Getting gg’d”, with “gg” referring to “Good Game”.
In any case, like most things that suck in the world, rejection can rear its head in many forms.
As a Black fan of Anime who wears braces, I know a thing or two about rejection.
So, I’ve compiled 10 ways people can reject you romantically, and what they exactly mean.
Here we go:
1. “I’m not looking to date anyone right now”
See, the thing is, that most people are willing to be in a relationship as long as the right person comes along.
You’re just not that person. And you never will be.
…Okay, maybe you could be someday. If they say this during Week 1, then they’ll likely change their minds as they get to know you better. But there’s a clear difference between someone saying this Week 1 and Week 11. Know the difference.
If it’s Week 4 and above, it’s not worth your time to sit on your hands while waiting for this person to come around. You’re worth more than that.
Take the L and kindly move on.
2. “My ex reached out to me”
This can mean two things:
A.) Their ex really did reach back out to them. If this is the case, and you really do have to suddenly compete against an incumbent, the odds are really stacked against you. This is because people are stupid and like things that are familiar to them regardless of how shitty things turned out last time.
B.) There is no ex and they just want to get rid of you easily because everyone understands how impossible reason A is to overcome.
Either way, you’re fucked. Keep it pushing.
3. “You don’t want to date me. I’m crazy”
These people typically like to be chased. And not in a normal way, either. They want you to chase them all the way to fucking Vietnam on your hands and knees.
They find pleasure in throwing constant obstacles in your way. Which is a trait reserved for those who are emotionally immature, stupid, or actually crazy.
None of those are good things, so heed their kind warning and get outta dodge before they scar you emotionally.
4. “I’m not interested”
This is the most fair and honest way anyone could ever let you down.
Respect their tactful honesty and gracefully exit stage right.
Remember that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay. But at least you tried, right?
5. “I don’t think we’d be good for each other”
This is a clear L, regardless of how you spin it.
Sure, someone can get to know you better and suddenly realize how compatible you two really are.
But that doubt will always exist in the back of their minds, and might manifest itself in a self-fulfilling prophecy.
By that, I mean they’ll do things like ignore you constantly and then complain about you being needy for double-texting.
There’s no winning this, no matter how hard you try.
It’s best to quit early and find someone who isn’t constantly trying to disqualify you.
6. “I don’t have time for a relationship”
Again, this is one of those things that probably wouldn’t be an issue with someone else.
But it is with you.
In other words: you are the issue.
I’ll use me as an example. In college, I was on the D1 Track team, had 3 jobs, worked an internship, and was a “full-time student”. Despite this, I could still make time to have a girlfriend if I wanted to. That being said, I knew that “I’m busy” was a great excuse to blow someone off.
Basically, the person could make time for a relationship, but they’re not willing to do it with you.
Sorry ’bout it.
7. “I don’t want a relationship, but we can keep hanging out”
Assuming that “hanging out” refers to having incredibly satisfying sex that’s emotionally devoid, this could actually be a good deal.
That is, if you’re okay with the crippling sense of emptiness you feel afterwards, due to the realization that you’re being mildly objectified by someone who couldn’t care less about your long-term emotional well being.
But hey, they’re good in bed and can at least pretend to care about you for an hour at a time. That’s worth something, right?
And if you do actually hang out with them every now and then, then you’re just doubling up on the facade of companionship! Hooray!
8. “Thanks for the meal!”
This means that you just got successfully owned.
The person went out with you in the hopes that you’d pay for everything on the promise that they’d get “next time”.
I hate to break it to you, but there is no next time.
Especially since “Thanks for the meal!” in no way implies that there’ll ever be another one.
You got played for a free meal. It happens.
Now, your butt is probably sore from this realization. I want you to remember this the next time someone suggests having dinner with you.
If you wanna test their interest, suggest a picnic or coffee. It’s a pretty good way to phase out meal-seekers.
And also a way to avoid spending a combined $250 in one month on inconsequential dates.
Not that I would know.
9. “You’re like my brother/sister”
Holy fuck on a shit sandwich.
This is like the Tactical Nuke of dating, in that it’s an instant gg.
Game over, motherfucker.
Unless you’re into incest, there’s no coming back from this one.
Leave. Now. Please. While you still have one shred of dignity left.
10. “I just got out of a long term relationship”
Like the legendary Run D.M.C. once said: it’s tricky.
This person is probably in a very vulnerable period of their lives. A huge part of their personality was probably dependent on their prior partner, and they don’t have much of a clue of who they actually are.
Additionally, nearly anything that reminds them of the former “love of their life” will cause them to act…oddly, to say the least.
Cut them a break. They’re healing themselves. We all do it, but it can be a taxing and ultimately futile pursuit for you.
To sum it up, there’s a lot going on here, and whether you want to deal with the emotional funhouse is entirely up to you.
You might want to revisit later on. Or not at all.
Probably not at all.
Thanks for reading!
Hopefully now you can venture out into the dating world a little more knowledgeable, and probably a lot more cynical.